Prof. D.Sc. Lubomir Stoykov
– Editor-in-Chief of “Fashion Lifestyle Magazine”
The poetry of intimate life
I came across quite accidentally on this text written by me almost 30 years ago. I read it several times because I had forgotten it. Some things in it - from the decades that have passed, now seem naive and slightly banal. Others are still standing and up to date - to the extent that I will not give up on them and will not edit them. That's why I decided to offer my dear readers of Fashion Lifestyle Magazine this essay, which’s messages I still believe, albeit with some indulgence and a smile...* * *
In its address are said countless compliments, spoken pawns. The kiss is the point where two emotional systems merge and give each other passion and fervor, desire, and excitement. Tenderness and longing, willingness to surrender and seduction are tied to this gentle gesture, to this truly exquisite figure of love. But are the kisses in the bed and official political meetings the same? Why do we often like to formally kiss us, and we, in turn, and without a special occasion touch the lips, the cheek, the hand of the others? Is the original kiss of devaluation threatened?
The biggest rival of actual kissing is the loving touch displayed on screen. One of the classic kisses is that between Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind, Greta Garbo and Robert Taylor in Camille, Steve McQueen and Natalie Wood in Love with the Proper Stranger, Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange in The Postman Always Rings Twice, Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in 9½ Weeks, Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin in Sea of Love, etc. The celluloid tape has sealed different roles, different situations, different passionate scenes. But is life imitating cinema or vice versa?
In everyday life, a person kisses many times, and not always with the one he desires. A number of ceremonies: marriage, reception and sending, family celebrations, corporate rituals require a formal touch of lips and cheeks, noses and cheeks. In such cases, kissing is usually mechanical, stereotypical, and quite often, lazy. Not to mention the moments when forced to kiss or to be kissed effortlessly conceals annoyance or, to put it, makes an abhorrence of intimate contact. There was a joke that said, how can you tell the statesmen from the homosexuals? And the answer: The first kisses at the airports and the second one in the bed! In any case, the kiss in politics plays an important role - it shows the degree of proximity between diplomats, embodies progress in negotiations, symbolizes sympathy, goodwill, willingness to cooperate. However, the extremes (like the example of a deep kiss mouth between Honecker and Brezhnev) disturb and cause sad associations. Sometimes a kiss refusal occurs. This is the case between Jimmy Carter and Jackie Kennedy. The latter refused to kiss in 1979 when the US president tried to congratulate her in this way in connection with the name of the presidential library J. F. Kennedy.
Jerry Della Femina, a director of an advertising agency in the United States, says she spends most of her time thinking about it - who to kiss and who to not. Other administrators categorically reject the kiss as a means of business communication. In any case, this gentle gesture should not be completely ignored by our communication and reserved only for intimate actions. The French manner suggests kissing three times - not just among very close people. In America, women often only touch their cheeks sideways and say "kiss-kiss" - a precautionary measure against microbial and bacterial exchange.
Yet the kiss is in its true function among the lovers. It permits through length, playful movements and temperamental pressure to express mental and physical unrest. It is between the people who cannot live without each other and who truly love, the kiss is the most authentic.
They do not follow a scheme and learned movements, but only obey the passion and the forceful and magnetic attraction. The kiss! The beautiful brooch of love...
Stoykov, Lubomir. The Kiss. The poetry of intimate life. In: "Me and You", No 9, November 21, 1990, p. 6.
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